Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
