As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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