yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
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So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
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How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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