dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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