Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
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New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
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Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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