Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
