Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
