Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
