I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
