I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
