obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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