i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
