I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
