Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Randomize
