I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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