What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'm bleeding and have questions
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
