why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
