Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
