we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
