I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Fuck appropriateness.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
