That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
