I wanna passion pit in your ass
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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