Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
