i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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