Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
