I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
