I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
