Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Randomize
