just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
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