Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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