I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
