Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
i think we sleep fucked last night...
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
