You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
