fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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