I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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