My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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