Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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