We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Welp...herpes.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
cat food counts as protein by the way
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
