so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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