u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Randomize
