1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize