dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
We just shotgunned beers for America
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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