Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
