well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
