My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
