Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I supernannyed him into submission
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize