maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
