Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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