Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
