Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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