i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize