very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
