She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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