I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
