just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
