I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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