How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize
