trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
