RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize