She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
