When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
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