Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
