oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
