I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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