I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
